the four legged freaks

the deccan chronicle ran another story on dogs attacking humans. complete with gruesome, bloodied faces of innocent kids on the front page. the marauder, of course, was duly killed. and since we need to see to believe, a picture of the dead dog was buried discreetly in the inner pages.

it doesn't take a genius to deduce that a sinister, sinister plot is being hatched to eliminate the human race. what else could explain the recent fury of the four legged freaks? it all started with that big, fat elephant that trampled its mahout near some temple somewhere. i mean, you take an elephant out of the jungle. give it three square meals a day. and a plush job at a temple. complete with make-up and jewelry perks. not to mention all the attention of fawning devotees. and frequent television coverage to boot. i mean, rakhi sawant would kill for this gig, man. and what does the silly, over-fed jumbo do? it goes and kills its mahout. tramples him in full public view.

so anyways, it all started with that. and now the other freaks seem to have gotten their cue. excitable and abundant as they are, the dogs have taken up the cause with utmost relish. leopard attacks have been happening off and on, but there's what, three of them? not enough. i believe i read something about monkey attacks too, but that might be a figment of my imagination.

let's not worry too much though. these freaks have the saddam syndome. they think they can defeat the greatest species on the planet with their measly claws and canines. we have the authorities and poachers on our side. and they have guns. let's just hope the insects don't join the brigade. swarms of mosquitoes and roaches can be pretty damn hard to fight with guns and canons. it's a good thing we went nuclear.