Looking for Rom & Com

Somewhere along the way, in the attempt to modernize and keep up with the changing times, the heart’s gone missing from our movies. What pass for romantic comedies these days are bland, bloodless bores, always perfectly manicured and trendily attired, but wary of emotion and short on charm. Our filmmakers have upgraded their style quotients and production values – attention is paid to the minutest details, and sets are often immaculately designed - but the characters that populate them are often hollow mannequins, hard to engage with, let alone feel for.

It’s hard to think of more than a handful of memorable rom-coms in the last few years – “Jab We Met”, “Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na”, and the recent “Band Baaja Baaraat” come to mind. Right from its first trailer, “Jab We Met” sparkled with a rare charm – one look at Geet (Kareena) taking off on a bewildered Aditya (Shahid) with “Koi doubt mat rakhna dil mein, Sikhni hoon main Bhatinda ki!” was enough to get excited about the movie. It turned out to be absolutely wonderful – honest, funny, superbly well written, with crackling chemistry between the leads, and a strong emotional core. “Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na”, too was beautifully written – down to earth and relatable, with just the right amount of whack thrown in with the “Ranjhore Ke Rathore” fable. The most recent of the lot, “Band Baaja Baaraat”, turned out to be surprisingly winsome – not too many people expected much from this latest YashRaj offering, but the production house that was built on the successes of its romantic movies showed that it still knows a thing or two about conjuring magic.

So then, of course Bollywood has what it takes to make great rom-coms. And yet, most of the time it delivers the plastic likes of "Pyaar Impossible", "I Hate Luv Storys", "Anjaana Anjaani" and "Break Ke Baad" – teflon coated movies that simply won't stick in minds or hearts, however much enthusiastic movie buffs might try. Even directors of the best rom-coms in recent years have fallen short when given bigger budgets and higher expectations. After “Jab We Met”, Imtiaz Ali went on to make the far less satisfying, although commercially successful “Love Aaj Kal”. Same with Abbas Tyrewala, writer-director of "Jaane Tu.. Ya Jaane Na" - his "Jhootha Hi Sahi" opened to dismal reviews and a cold box office reception. It's unfair to compare movies, of course, even those made by the same director. But it's rather curious that the moment these talented writer-directors shifted their stories to unfamiliar foreign settings, they seem to have lost their essence. I can’t, for the life of me, fathom why movies about young Indian folks need to be set abroad all the time (*all* the turkeys listed above were either set, or moved rather abruptly, to foreign shores) – do our filmmakers really think our NRIs can’t ‘identify’ with stories set in India, or is it simply a practical matter of sops and easier shoots abroad?

Even when these movies stay in India, they seem to be set in an India that no one can actually recognize. The characters are ridiculously rich by default, their neighborhoods look like they belong in New York or Beverly Hills, most don’t have to work at all, or have “dad ka business” to manage. With all regular human struggles and conflicts eliminated, the only thing left for these characters to fight is their own insecurities, laziness, selfishness or most times, sheer dumbness – small wonder then, they make for very dull movies. What’s there to root for? Who’s going to cry for poor little rich Aisha (Sonam Kapoor)? It’s not that Aisha’s too rich for sympathy, it’s just that she’s way too hollow to evoke any reaction at all. Remember “Dil Chahta Hai”? That gem from a decade ago had all the pitfalls I just mentioned and yet, when Aakash (Aamir Khan) broke down on the phone with his father, it was a heart-wrenching moment. The movie and character arcs built up to that moment, and when it arrived, there was genuine emotional heft.  As opposed to the caricatured emotion that Jai (Imran Khan) evoked in pretty much the same situation in “I Hate Luv Storys” – a laughable attempt by an actor clearly out of depth, in a situation that was clearly too shallow to fish for audience sympathy.

With Bollywood struggling to do what it used to do best, there’s little else to turn to – Telugu romances have gotten stuck in a strange, almost surreal rut, where the same characters and situations get played over and over and over again, movie after movie after movie. The actors remain constant, the actresses keep changing – but their voices remain the same, lest audiences get startled with too much variety. There is an endless parade of fresh new faces with each new Telugu film, and they all speak with the same high-pitched, faux-accented, supposedly chirpy voice. Who speaks Telugu like that? And what are these characters sniffing? They’re always, determinedly, exaggeratedly, cloyingly bubbly. The low-budget “Ashta Chamma” was the last delightful rom-com from the Telugu industry. That was way back in 2008. Last year’s “Ye Maaya Chesaave’ was no masterpiece, but was at least the characters were fresh, and the voices too. Everything else swayed between crass and clueless.

Hollywood has been even worse – serving up washed up old movie stars in the most obviously formulaic fashion. Between Jennifer Aniston, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Lopez, we got “The Bounty Hunter”, “The Switch”, “Sex And The City 2” and “The Back-Up Plan” – all prime candidates for Razzies. Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds at least managed a bit of charm with “The Proposal”. And then there was the Twilight series that drove teens crazy worldwide, so maybe there’s some hope there. But given that even Ekta Kapoor has jumped onto the vampire love story bandwagon, the trend is a little frightening. What next, a Ramsay brothers’ rom-com?

All right then, I’m done complaining for 2010. Let’s brighten up for the brand new year. And hope that someone, somewhere is listening to the heartfelt plea of all movie buffs the world over – pray, do someone put some heart back in them movies. And while you’re at it, put some spark back too. Happy 2011.

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wrote this for channel6, hyderabad.

Awards [Live]

It’s that time of the year. When temperatures dip, vacations happen, and connoisseurs of the world gather to judge the best and worst of the year gone by. The international movie awards season is upon us, and soon there will be a deluge of nominees and winners – the BAFTAs, the SAGs, the Golden Globes, and finally, just when you think you can’t bear to see another red carpet, the Oscars. There’ll be hype, there’ll be hoopla and there’ll be controversy. But before all that, there will be hotly debated lists of contenders.

So who are the frontrunners for Best Picture this season? While a lot of movies aimed at the awards season release in December, most are previewed at festivals earlier in the year. So there’s already a pretty good sense for the movies in contention this year. As always, it’s a mix of festival favorites and critically acclaimed mainstream movies.

Remember Inception? It was touted to be the movie of the year till The Social Network came along. Both told rather untellable stories – one a sci-fi tale about corporate espionage in the world of dreams, the other a real-life inspired tale of the geeky beginnings of the Facebook phenomenon. Both were executed with incredible skill and received with enthusiasm by critics and audiences worldwide. Both are strong mainstream contenders for Best Picture. Toy Story 3 is another mainstream success that might possibly become the first animation feature to get nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars this year.

Among the festival favorites, there’s Colin Firth’s The King’s Speech – a period comedy-drama set during the Second World War, based on the real life story of the King of England who was crippled by his stammer at a time when his nation needed to hear the calm voice of its leader. The film just won the People’s Choice Award at the Toronto International Film Festival, and is slowly gathering steam just in time for the biggies. Another much talked about movie is Darren Aronofsky’s psychological drama, Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman. Danny Boyle is back in contention too, with his 127 Hours starring James Franco, based on the true story of an intrepid climber who survived five days trapped under a boulder in Robbers Roost, Utah. Other names being thrown around are Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine, Lisa Cholodenko’s The Kids Are All Right and Matt Reeves’ Let Me In.

In the super competitive foreign film category, there’s Alejandro González Iñárritu’s much acclaimed Mexican film, Biutiful, for which Javier Bardem won best actor at Cannes this year. There’s the winner of the Cannes Palmes D’Or from Thailand, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives. Other contenders include Semih Kaplanoglu's Bal (Turkey), Igor Sterk's 9:06 (Slovenia) and Javier Fuentes-León's Undertow (Peru) – all winners in the festival circuit. And then there’s Anusha Rizvi’s Peepli [Live] – the third Aamir Khan production to make it as India’s official entry to the Oscars. Lagaan got close with an Oscar nomination back in 2002, and before that Mira Nair’s Salaam Bombay and Mehboob Khan’s Mother India were the only other Indian films that made the cut. With Aamir at the helm, Peepli [Live] has been promoted better than most of India’s past entries – it duly did the festival rounds, got in front of several foreign reviewers and managed to make waves. It faces tough competition, but we’ll cross our fingers anyhow.

No talk of the awards season can be complete without that ode to the best of the worst – the annual Raspberry awards. The Razzies restore balance to the world. They are the Yin to the Oscars’ Yang. Announced a week before the Oscars, they burst the self-important, self-congratulatory bubble that envelopes the awards season each year. Some of this year’s contenders - Sex And The City 2, The Bounty Hunter, Remember Me, Valentine’s Day, From Paris With Love, The Last Airbender, Clash Of The Titans – each sounds horrendous in its own right. May the worst film win.

Movie awards are never just about cinematic achievement. There are usually political, social, even historical dimensions to the selection criteria that warp a purely cinematic order of merit (if there can even be such a thing, but that’s a whole other discussion). Last year’s battle of Avatar vs. The Hurt Locker was telling. As was the Slumdog Millionaire sweep the year before. It’s subjective territory anyway – at best a celebration of a fraternity’s work, at worst an eyeball-garnering commercial opportunity. The reality lies somewhere in between, and as long as they’re orchestrated right, the awards make for a good excuse to discover and re-discover some great movies.

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wrote this for channel6, hyderabad.

Getting Blockbusted

It’s raining superstars at the box office this festive season. It all started with Salman Khan’s Dabangg for the double whammy weekend of Eid and Ganesh Chaturthi. Barely did that buzz die down, that it was time for the uber-superstar Rajnikanth to show the world what fan hysteria truly is about – 5:00am shows, tickets at thrice their usual price (and not even in black) and theaters still getting sold out within minutes of opening of advance booking. While the rest of the nation had time to get stunned and stay that way after Endhiran/Robot, Hyderabad had to pick itself up, dust itself off, and get in line for tickets to Khaleja. For Mahesh ‘Prince’ Babu was back in theaters after three long years, and online ticketing websites had suitably crashed as a mark of respect.

There’s nothing quite like mainstream mega movies to get the holiday mood going. Their appeal is infectious, and cuts across the social spectrum, taking over casual conversations everywhere - from street corner paan shops and irani cafés to fancy Baristas and office water coolers. The buzz usually starts with sneak peek trailers, but more hardcore movie buffs don’t wait that long – posters and stills are good enough to get them going. The first poster of Mani Ratnam’s Raavan was analyzed by bloggers down to the title font size, while Salman’s new look for Dabangg made waves on twitter way before any poster was even released. Rajni films are on a whole other plane altogether when it comes to anticipation – a mere announcement of his film is all it takes to send fans into a tizzy.

Our mainstream filmmakers don’t get nearly enough credit for the ridiculously high, and deceptively simple ‘paisa vasool’ expectations they take on. It would seem that anyone with a budget and half a brain could pull off a mass entertainer – the formula is simple after all - 5 songs, 4 fights, an item number, a few ‘punch’ dialogues, a couple of emotional scenes and a comedy track. But we’ve seen the formula fall flat enough times to know that it takes serious talent and nerves of steel to handle all the pressure and deliver on that nebulous ‘paisa vasool’ promise.

Over the last few years, as multiplexes morphed movie economics, we’ve seen far fewer of these traditional mainstream entertainers with pan-India appeal, especially from the Hindi film industry. With filmmakers segmenting audiences into niche categories, we’ve been getting NRI flicks, chick flicks, dude flicks, psychedelic flicks and all manner of sub-genre flicks, leading to the fear that the genre-encompassing Great Indian Masala Film might be a dying art. But the smashing success of Ghajini, Wanted and now Dabangg, has made it amply clear that India still loves a good old masala entertainer.

With Dussehra and Diwali round the corner, there’s a string of big releases lined up. NTR Jr.’s Brindaavanam is the big Dussehra release from the Telugu film industry. The other much awaited Telugu release is Ram Gopal Varma’s controversial Rakta Charitra with Surya and Vivek Oberoi. For Diwali, Bollywood has Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai going retro with Action Replayy, and Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor and company going slapstick with Golmaal 3. And then comes Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Guzaarish, followed by Ashutosh Gowarikar’s independence era film Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Se. Topping it all off on Christmas eve would be Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan. So there you have it, the potential blockbusters of 2010, although the biggest blockbusters of this year are likely behind us already. Anticipation is half the fun, so go check out the promos and enjoy the buzz.

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wrote this for channel6, hyderabad.

The multiplex wave

More than a decade ago, an NRI engineer pulled off a rather remarkable feat. He wrote, produced, directed and starred in a super-low-budget film with a bunch of young new faces.  That wasn’t the remarkable part. The remarkable part was that the movie actually made it to the theaters and turned into quite the sleeper hit. Nagesh Kukunoor and his irreverent, slice-of-life debut film, Hyderabad Blues, may have been the butterfly that set off what some people are now calling the ‘New Wave’ of Indian cinema.

Since Hyderabad Blues, we’ve had a steady stream of new filmmakers breaking away from the Bollywood routine, exploring fresh themes, styles and sensibilities.  Vishal Bhardwaj, Farhan Akhtar, Dibakar Banerjee, Anurag Kashyap and Sriram Raghavan are some of the most prominent directors that have met with critical and commercial success in their not-so-conventional ventures. Yet, this isn’t quite a New Wave in the spirit of the original French movement of the 50’s and 60’s. That one was characterized by a rejection of traditional filmmaking norms and a radical shift in cinematic form and expression. What we’ve been witnessing in Indian cinema is a far gentler, incremental pushing of the envelope, characterized more by a new found freedom of expression than an outright rejection of tradition.

The gradual shift in Indian cinema over the past decade has coincided with the introduction and growth of multiplexes across all our major cities. The multiplexes, with their expensive tickets and more homogeneous audiences, skewed movie economics in favor of the urban, English-speaking middle classes. Freed of the burden of catering to an entire nation of diverse tastes, our filmmakers are now able pick subjects of limited appeal and make commercially viable movies. Commercial viability has brought in the production houses (UTV Motion Pictures, YashRaj Films, even Ekta Kapoor’s Balaji Films, for example) and allowed a new generation of writers and directors to dust off their fantasy scripts and put them on celluloid.

Some of our best filmmakers have been responsible for propelling this new wave forward. They have been actively producing films that appeal to them, generating eco-systems that nurture and promote fresh talent and ideas. Ram Gopal Varma was perhaps the first filmmaker to do this effectively. Vishal Bhardwaj, Anurag Kashyap (who incidentally started his career as a writer for Ram Gopal Varma’s Satya), Farhan Akhtar and Aamir Khan, have all produced films with first time directors in recent years. Their mentorship extends to writers, musicians, actors and the entire crew, with the result that we’re seeing fresh talent emerge with amazing regularity. Vikramaditya Motwane and Zoya Akhtar made their excellent directorial debuts with Udaan and Luck By Chance, respectively, after years of waiting in the wings. Sneha Khanwalkar and Amit Trivedi delivered the most memorable soundtracks in recent years with Oye Lucky! Luck Oye! and Dev.D, respectively.

A lot of the new wave films are heavily influenced by Hollywood, European and World cinema. So one might see shades of Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino in Kaminey, or a fan-boy tribute to Roman Polanski’s Chinatown in Manorama Six Feet Under. But there is also the inescapable influence of Bollywood, and interestingly, 70’s Bollywood at that. Many of the current crop of filmmakers grew up in the 70’s, and regardless of the cinema they discovered and admired later in life, nostalgia for the cinema of their childhood is evident in their work. So we have a Kaminey playing off the much loved good brother, bad brother storyline of Deewaar, and a Johnny Gaddaar with riffs of Parwana and Bandini, and dedicated to the films of Vijay ‘Goldie’ Anand.

Whatever the influences and chain of events, the results have definitely been interesting. We’ve had more variety in our theaters than ever before. From edgy noir thrillers to screwball satire, every imaginable niche has been explored. So far this year, we’ve had Ishqiya, Karthik Calling Karthik, LSD, Road, Movie, Tere Bin Laden, Udaan, Aisha, Peepli [Live], Antardwand and The Film Emotional Atyachar. As expected, it’s a mixed bag. Some of the attempts have been very good, some others have been self-conscious, over-indulgent and downright tiresome. But the best ones have been delightful – Ishqiya, LSD, Tere Bin Laden, Udaan, Peepli [Live] – each distinct, assured and impressive in its own way.

We have come a long way in the last decade. And yet we have remained the same. A decade ago, a little film with unknown faces from Chhattisgarh would likely have sunk without a trace. But a decade ago, a big film with a superstar playing a badass cop would likely still have smashed box office records. The good news is that we now get to enjoy both Peepli [Live] and Dabangg, and the entire spectrum of films in between. And that’s an exciting place to be.

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wrote this for channel6, hyderabad.

summer love

i spied a hint of yellow in my mom's grocery bag yesterday. instantly, all manner of electric pulses made their way to my brain and lit up an area described scientifically as mangothalamus -- are they? could they be? wait, what month is it? kind of early no? -- such thoughts criss crossed (remember kriss-kross & jump jump, any of u fellow fossils out there?) at the speed of light, arguably of course. anyhow, i demanded a clarification on the source of the yellowness and held my breath. the mater gave me a look, paused for effect and nodded.

ah yes, they've been duly sliced, bowled & forked. low-carb diet plans may as well hang themselves with the undying hope of being reincarnated along with the monsoons.

vocabulary

i have a little buddy in the neighborhood. all of 15 months old, he drops by chez moi every so often to hang out with the family.

about a month ago, he spotted the moon while playing ball in the garden. he stood besotted by it for a while and then slowly, with great concentration and awe, repeated after my mom -- 'mmmmmoooooooonnnnn'.

a couple of days ago, he was in our living room when the tv was switched on. he turned to my parents and said -- 'booooooomb'.

if i had to bet my life on someone

i would just have to pick mahendra singh dhoni, wouldn't i!

it's been that kind of a day

you know, the kind where you look in your cupboard for a receipt and find a stack of old photographs? that kind of a day.

a sense of entitlement

economic crisis happens => companies lose money => people lose jobs

that's just how things work. what baffles me is how the indian news media has been crying foul over job cuts, framing every instance of corporate cost-cutting as the sacrifice of poor employees by rich corporate honchos. what do these so called reporters understand about the financial position of these companies? what do they understand about cost structures, bankruptcy risks or long-term strategies governing management decisions? without any fact-based analysis, the media has been rather quick to convict managements of greed & incompetence.

case in point, the indian airline industry. kingfisher & jet airways have been losing tens of crores of rupees every day. in order to stem the bleeding, both have resorted to cost cutting measures. jet laid off several hundred employees while kingfisher announced pay cuts for its senior pilots. jet had to quickly retract its decision after its fired employees took to the streets & sought help from hoodlums like raj thackeray. and now kingfisher is facing flak for cutting pilot salaries. there was a guy on barkha dutt's show, screaming hoarse that vijay mallya should curb his extravagant lifestyle before punishing his poor pilots who have each spent 15 lakh rupees on their training programs. several questions for that genius and other people of such persuasion:

- did mallya coerce these pilots to spend all that money in training & to join his company?
- did mallya provide lifetime guarantees for all jobs & salaries at kingfisher?
- what exactly are mallya & goyal supposed to do with all the redundant workforce? take empty flights for sorties in the sky for the amusement of said geniuses?
- maybe mallya has a lot of personal wealth. why stop at paying people's salaries out of his own pocket? maybe he should make out his will to all kingfisher employees.

truth is, we're all on our own out there. we invest in our training & education because we expect a reasonable lifetime ROI out of it. but like all investments, this too comes with risks associated. it's no different from investing in the stock market. if a broker loses money on a kingfisher stock, does he ask mallya to pay for his losses? the broker invested in the stock knowing fully well that there's risk associated with his investment. he was prompted by his own greed for high returns. the pilots who joined kingfisher bet their training money on a booming airline industry. unfortunately, the industry slumped and it'll take longer for them to recover their investment. it's not like the airline industry is dead, it'll probably recover in due course & provide many more jobs & attractive salaries. but if the media & politicians insist on irrational employment practices, they'll simply end up breaking the industry's back.

tagged out of inertia

poked, commented & phoned out of it by the vyas. so here goes.

my oldest memory: watching a movie out of a tiny square window, projector whirring in the background. kulfi & popcorn during the break & rabbit spotting on the way back home.

10 years ago: i bought my first computer.

my first thought this morning: what a strange dream that was. what was it?

you built a time capsule today what would it contain: a bar of chocolate, a bottle (um, make that a case) of the finest wine (can u imagine what a treasure that would be!), chai & coffee, seeds (of everything), candles, matches, a macbook with a wi-fi card and a ping pong ball.

this year: gives me a sense of deja vu.

14 years from now: stocks might be up.

done and dusted

am hanging up my suits, folks. chaos, here i come!

august 15

heard this song from karma on the indian radio station...



amazing how it manages to pierce through the cynicism after all these years.

happy independence day!

why be consistent...

...when u can be inconsistent?

it's been 15 years

since jurassic park was released. i feel like a fossil.

trip mexico

is an unmitigated disaster. don't even ask.

blur

about a week ago, i realized that i wasn't seeing distant things too clearly. a tiny voice in my head said, "well, so much for lasik.". another rather loud and excited voice drowned out the first with, "woohoo! i can wear real glasses again!". so the blur didn't bother me one bit. and then, something incredible happened.

i decided to work from home this afternoon. but first, i decided to make me some chai. you know how these things go. once the chai was made, of course, i had to step out and get some fresh air. as i stood in the balcony, sipping chai and just letting the mind wander, i looked at the slightly blurry buildings in the distance. for some reason, i widened my eyes. the buildings came into focus. and then blurred again. so i tried doing the eyes wide open thing again. back in focus. back out of focus. after a while, they stayed focused. and then it hit me. my poor eyes could very well see things in the distance but were simply not used to doing so.

what an awful lifestyle we have fashioned. noses buried in laptops, eyes never looking more than 10 feet away. closeted. cubicled. all the time.

of nightmares and peas and an ill tempered sunday morning

so a nightmare woke me up at 2 in the morning. fine, it was that and jetlag. yes yes, i must be the only person on the planet suffering from 2-week long jetlags and suchlike. but let's stay focussed.

the nightmare. basically, it was about reliance running the world. need i say more? i promptly woke up, rebooted and went back to sleep.

now here's the kicker. the nightmare came back. first thing after i woke up. that too, through the mater. i will suspend you no further.

ma: thanks to reliance...
me: WHAT!
ma: i said, thanks to reliance, you're going to get peas for breakfast! in this season!
me: I HATE RELIANCE. and besides, i don't like to eat unseasonal foods. i will not touch those peas.
ma: why do you dislike reliance so much?

noise about last night's IPL match changed the subject.

me: i hope we get an SRK vs. PZ final. oh wait, but i like dhoni. fine, let's have a ganguly vs. dhoni final.
ma: what about sachin? you don't want sachin in the final?!
me: I DON'T WANT that reliance anywhere close to winning. i want sachin to play brilliantly but mumbai to lose quite miserably.

and then i heard some sniffling on TV. it was dravid, of course.

me: bah, i can't stand dravid.
ma: what's wrong with you? what did he do now?
me: well, i just don't like him. he's such a bore. and besides, he declared when sachin was batting at 194*.

and then the newspaper landed and i promptly engrossed myself in news of cannes and kareena kapoor. breakfast was served. and i ate the peas. with quite unwarranted relish, to be perfectly honest.

screaming over rooftops

has got to be the best way to trade soundwaves. just had a totally fun, totally public catch-up session with the neighbours. traded everything from breakfast invitations to updates on current tan levels & flirtatious grandkid.

screw cell phones, i say! henceforth, i shall drive up (erm, bike up?) to the closest rooftop to holler at ya.

a spring in my stride

a glint in my eyes & a grin from ear to ear.

what, oh, what could it be?

earth day

it's funny. the west is trying to go back to growing vegetables in backyards while we're merrily replacing our vegetable stalls & bandis with shiny supermarket chains.

the NYT had some interesting thoughts on why we might bother doing something about climate change.